Trying to Understand
by Gandalf3213
Summary: Zack has no idea what to do to help Cody, and he knows that his brother needs more help then he can offer. What will one brother do to help his twin? Sequel to Together Forever?
1. The Nightmare

**I don't own Suite Life.**

Cody woke up to find Zack kneeling next to him, looking terrified. "I did it again, didn't I?"

Zack nodded, trying not to look to nervous. This was the fifth time in a week that Cody had started screaming in the middle of the night. It left Zack feeling so helpless; like he couldn't do anything to help his brother.

"Was it them again?" Zack asked in a low voice. Cody nodded, not looking at Zack.

"It was so real. You have no idea how horrible it was." Tears started down Cody's cheeks and Zack held his twin loosely, rocking him back and forth as he let his brother cry.

"I feel so dirty, Zack. I want to get away from it. I want it to end." Cody sobbed into Zack's shoulder.

"Just forget about it Cody. I won't let anybody do this again." Zack didn't know what else to say.

Cody just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "Please, don't leave Zack." He whispered finally.

Zack nodded and arranged himself so that he was laying side by side with Cody, still holding Cody. Since Cody had gotten back, he hadn't let anyone, not even their mother, touch him. Except for Zack.

"You want a story, Little Buddy?" Zack muttered. He felt, rather then saw, Cody's nod.

"Once upon a time, there were two brothers. Identical twin brothers who lived in a great big city with their mom. One day, one of the brothers was kidnapped by two terrible people who did unspeakable things to him." Zack choked, but managed to keep talking.

"When that brother got back, he wasn't the same, and the other brother did everything he could to help him." Tears came down Zack's cheeks. He listened to Cody's slow, even breathing for a few moments.

"But no matter what that brother did, he couldn't get that other brother to tell him anything." Zack's voice trailed off to almost a whisper.

"And now he has no idea what to do."

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You like that beginning? If you did, tell me! 


	2. Finding Help

**I don't own it.**

"Maddie?"

The older girl looked up and smiled warmly when she saw who it was. "Hello, Cody. What's up?"

Cody shifted from one foot to another. "Can I talk to you? About...you know." He looked down quickly, and Maddie could just make out tears forming under his eyelashes.

"Sure. Listen, come back in, like, fifteen minutes. I'll be on my lunch break then." Maddie wanted to get this done. She was touched by the fact that Cody wanted to open up to her. Not Darrel, not Carey. Only Zack, so far, knew everything about the events of that night, and he wasn't telling.

He needed to tell. Cody needed help. More then what Zack could give him.

Fifteen minutes later, Maddie met Cody in the lobby. Just looking at the boy made her want to cry.

Cody had lost a lot of weight over the last couple of weeks. His once-bright eyes were dulled by the haunted look of a hunted animal. His posture had changed, too. He no longer sat perfectly upright, as he once had. Instead, he was more closed, more sheltered, more protective of his body.

_He has every right to be that way._ Maddie thought with bitterness. Her hands twisted in her lap as if she could feel those men's necks. She wanted them to die. She wanted those men to feel the pain that she knew Cody was feeling. She wanted to hurt them the way they had hurt Cody. Cody, who had once, from the information she had gathered from Zack about the old Cody, had had so much ambition. So much spunk. All taken away in one night.

In one night, a twelve-year-old boy had lost everything. His dreams, his future, even his innocence.

"So-" Maddie's voice cracked on the first word, she swallowed hard and tried to smile. Tried to look cheery and bright. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Cody's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. _He doesn't know if he can trust me._ Maddie thought with pity. _I don't know how he can trust _anyone_ after what he's been through._

"It's about my nightmares." Cody said finally, looking at the floor. "They are so **real**. I don't know if anybody understands this. I don't think even Zack understands. But Maddie, they are so scary. I'm reliving every moment. Every word." Cody shuddered and let the tears that had been threatening to fall since the beginning have their wish. "Maddie, I don't know what to do. Zack doesn't know what to do. I need help."

Maddie swallowed hard. Maybe she hadn't been ready for this. Here was a boy three years younger then her looking at her for answers that she didn't have. But there was no backing out now.

"Cody, did you tell your mom about his? Did you tell Darrel? They can help you better then I can." _Why do _I _want to cry, nothing's happened to me! _Maddie scolded herself.

Cody shook his head. "I've only told Zack. But you don't **get** it, Maddie. They won't understand. They don't know what it's like!"

"Neither do I, Cody!" Maddie tried to say this quietly, but by the stares she got from some customers, she knew that she hadn't succeeded. Maddie lowered her voice. "I'm just a kid."

Cody nodded. "That's why I need to tell _you_, Maddie." He paused for a second, then started to tell Maddie everything. From the beginning.

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review? 


	3. Tomorrow

**I don't own it.**

Zack watched as Cody walked across the basketball court. For the fifth time that day, he cursed the men who had done this to his brother. What made a person so sadistic that they thought raping a kid was expectable and even enjoyable.

Zack rubbed his shoulders and looked at the sky. It was definitely going to snow; the sky had been threatening it all week. "I wish we didn't live here." He said to his brother, who had just joined him.

"Where would you want to live?" Cody asked quietly. He too, was looking at the sky.

"I don' know. Jamaica. Fiji. Someplace warm." He frowned at the snowflake that fell on his nose and pulled his jacket tighter around his shoulders. Of course, it had to start snowing just as they started on the fifteen block walk from school. He glanced over at Cody, who seemed happy for the sudden snow.

"Maybe tomorrow we could go sledding." Cody announced.

Zack looked at him. Maybe-just maybe-Cody was starting to become social again. Put the past behind him.

"You want to? Because Tapeworm told me about this really great park just a couple blocks past the school." Zack turned to look at Cody, and realized he couldn't see his brother through the falling snow, which was already coming down thick and fast. He could hear his laughter though. He hadn't heard Cody laugh in ages.

"Sure. If this snow keeps up, we'll probably have tomorrow off. If we can find the sleds, it should be perfect." Cody's voice was muffled by the snow, but his words were still loud enough for Zack to hear.

Zack was already picturing tomorrow. They'd go to the park with their sleds. They'd meet some of the guys and maybe have a few races. Later they'd have a snowball fight. Cody would smile again. He would laugh and talk and play around with the other guys.

And then Zack wouldn't have to worry about Cody anymore.

The twins turned into the Tipton. As they stepped into the hotel, they shook the snowflakes from their hair and looked around the lobby. They knew the staff by name now, and Zack was even trying to talk Maddie into going out with him. Esteban winked at them as he went by, carrying a couple of suitcases. "Still in one piece, little blond peoples?"

Maddie heard him and looked up. She smiled at the twins and beckoned them over. "I was cleaning out the garage yesterday and found…these."

Maddie produced two sleds from behind the counter. They were older and worn, as if they had seen many winters, but they looked sturdy. One was red with a blue stripe going across the middle. The other was black with a yellow stripe.

"Thanks Maddie!" Zack exclaimed, taking the black sled from her and examining every inch of it.

Cody smiled. "Thanks." He echoed, a little louder then normally, taking the red one.

The brothers took the boards up to their room and cleaned them a little, so that you couldn't even tell they were ever used before. They repaired what needed to be repaired- Cody's had a small crack in his-before setting them off to the side.

Zack looked out the window at the swirling white that the world had become and hoped that the snow kept up. Then maybe he could help Cody find his smile.

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You like it? Huh? You probablyknow what I want you to do. Review! 


	4. Of Sleds and Snowballs

**I own nothing**

After assuring Darrel for the hundredth time that they'd be fine walking ten blocks on their own in the snow, the brothers set off for the park.

Looking around, Zack saw how people could like winter so much. Before, they had lived in Nashville, Tennessee. Not much snow ever came down there. But here, the snow had transformed everything overnight into a picture that looked like something out of those old black-and-white Christmas movies.

Plus, the even better part of snow, having the day off in the middle of February wasn't that bad either.

By the time the tow of them got to the park Tapeworm, Bob, Max, and a handful of other kids from school were already on the hill-either sliding down it or trudging back up.

"Hey, look who showed up!" Max yelled. Suddenly, as if on cue, the air was filled with dozens of snowballs hurled from different directions. Cody laughed as one sailed over his head, knocking his hat off.

Tapeworm waved them over. "You guys are just in time for the race!" he exclaimed pointing to a spot a couple yards away where several sleds were lined up.

Zack looked at Cody and smiled. He loved races. He was even happier when Cody smiled back. They took their positions at the starting line between Max and Bob.

Tapeworm stood a couple feet in front of them, waving his red hat like a flag. "Racers to their starting marks..." Zack caught Max's gaze and rolled his eyes. Tapeworm was such a ham. "On your mark, get set-" Zack leaned forward. "GO!"

And he was down the hill. All sound was gone. It had evaporated along with his vision. Zack let out a wild whoop, which was gone in an instant. He didn't know if he was winning. He didn't care. This was the most fun he could remember having in the past few months, and he intended to savor every moment of it.

Then it was done. The entire ride had lasted all of thirty seconds.

Zack rolled off his sled and laughed. Deep and long and loud. He felt lightheaded and free and great. He looked over his shoulder at Cody, who had also rolled off his sled. He couldn't hear over the wind, but Zack was pretty sure that he was laughing, too.

Suddenly, Max was over him, snowball in hand. She pelted it at his face. "That's for beating me!" she cried, her smiling face red from cold. Zack hurriedly stood up and scooped up some snow of his own. He threw it at Max, who ducked. His snowball landed on Tapeworm, who had joined the racers at the bottom of the hill.

The next half-hour was the time of one of the best snowball fights Boston had ever seen. By the time they were finished everybody was either panting from exhaustion or rolling in laughter. Most were doing both.

Cody laughed the loudest.

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You have no idea how hard that was to write. I just can't do happy. So how do you like my first attempt at it? 


	5. Back to Square One

**I own nothing**

Cody was whistling when he walked out of the bathroom. Actually, it sounded more like a thousand out-of-tune birds trying to sing "Taps" but what the heck. Zack was just happy that Cody was whistling again.

Zack shot his brother a quick smile before returning to the news. He didn't know why, but he and Cody and their mother were all obsessed with watching the news. Zack took a huge mouthful of mac n' cheese just as the next story came on.

"And in other news." The newslady reported, reading off a piece of paper in front of her. "The two sex offenders who were charged two months ago for raping a twelve-year-old boy are going on trial this week. Joe Diamond with the update."

Zack's mouth hung slack. He didn't even bother glancing at Cody. He had heard the frightened intake of breath behind him.

_I can't believe she just said it like that._ Zack thought. He would have expected her to shout it, at the very least. The impact this news had had on him was so absolute.

It was only after a full minute that Zack turned around. He saw Cody standing in the middle of the kitchen floor, shaking. Zack walked over to him with slow, uncertain steps.

"Hey man. It'll be okay." Zack's words sounded hollow even to him. He stroked his brother's back and was surprised and hurt when he felt it tense. That hadn't happened for weeks.

The thirty second story on TV had brought them back to square one.

Zack didn't know that it was about to get worse. Much worse.

Trying to act in a semblance on normality, Zack crossed over to the table. Their mother always set the mail that was for them here. There was a letter addressed to Cody.

"Here, some mail. It'll take your mind off things." Zack tossed the letter to Cody, thinking that nothing that came in the letter could help Cody.

Cody opened the envelope wordlessly. Zack watched as his brother read the letter, hoping for at least a tiny smile that would signify good news. Instead, he saw Cody shake even more violently and hold the letter out to him. Zack took it and read:

**Cody Martin,**

**We request your presence as a witness against Misters Thomas and Benjamin Kospa on Thursday the eighth of this month. The hearing will...**

Zack didn't bother reading more. He slammed the letter down on the table, feeling hot tears of anger flow down his face. How could they do this to Cody? He was finallystarting to get over the ordeal and the court just ruined it. They ruined everything Zack and Cody had worked for.

Zack led Cody over to the couch. They were both shaking. Zack drew in a deep breath. "You don't have to do it, Cody. You don't have to go."

Cody shook his head. After some moments, he finally managed to choke. "No, Zack. I'm going." A glint of anger came into Cody's normally frightened eyes. "Those bastards belong in jail. I'm going to make sure they get there."

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I've never reseived a court summons, so I'm sorry if it's not accurate. Review anyway? 


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